Tag 113

[weltatlas]

Da wir gerade das Thema Infodump im Thread Szenenstorming haben, gibt es hierzu eine kurze Schreib"übung". Nehmt einen kurzen Absatz Eurer Geschichte und infodumpt bis die Mülleimer überquellen.

nuclear-waste-1471361_1280.jpg

[Lia Roger]

Dann nehm ich mal eine Szene, die an und für sich schon einiges an Info enthält.

Das Original

Lucifer hated calling Heaven. Being bound to the Treaty of Haveno for almost two hundred years was bad enough - a peace treaty according to which every important political decision in Hell that could somehow affect Heaven had to be approved by the latter. What was even worse, though, was that the idiots ruling in Heaven made an effort to re-interpret said treaty on a regular basis, in what seemed like nothing more than an attempt to spite him. Lucifer had yet to understand how the construction of a few windmills constituted an 'important political decision'.
'Hell is a place of punishment,' Raphael proclaimed monotonously. He sounded bored and like he'd memorised and uttered these words dozens of times, because he had. 'If the sinners are suffering, then I am sure it's an -'
'An appropriate punishment, I get it. You wanna suck up to the Puritans? Please don't tell me those bird brains are leading again.'
'No one can tell yet. It's another few months until the election.'
Of course not.

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Ich hab mir wirklich Mühe gegeben

Lucifer hated calling Heaven. In fact, he hated it so much he'd created a whole list of things he'd rather do in his head, and it seemed to grow longer and more extensive with every phonecall. Said list contained a large variety of torture techniques that he wouldn't have wished upon his worst enemy - not that he really wished torture upon anyone. Though some people would always be surprised by this, what with him being the devil and all, Lucifer made an effort to avoid violence. He'd already seen more of it than he was comfortable with in his lifetime. And yet, the things he would have chosen over calling, really, anyone in heaven, were nothing short of violent. He'd rather have several limbs removed without anaesthesia, including his wretched wings, than endure the conversation he was currently having. He would have preferred having to listen to this one German Schlager song that was apparently about Hell, nonstop, for the rest of his life. What was that again? Something about being insane in Hell ... it was strangely fitting, and surely it would have been better than having to deal with the same bullshit every time.
Still being bound to the Treaty of Haveno was bad enough - a peace treaty according to which every important political decision in Hell that could somehow affect Heaven had to be approved by the latter. It had been signed almost two hundred years ago, after two weeks of the most stressful negotiations Lucifer had ever had. Metatron, Heaven's Godly Leader at the time, hadn't budged, and in the end, Lucifer had been forced to sign a treaty that crippled all of Hell financially and put it at a constant risk of another armed conflict if he didn't run every little thing by Heaven's political leader. Of course, Metatron was out of the picture now, Heaven had long changed from a theocracy to a democracy - in theory, at least - , and no one seemed interested in another war, but the reparations remained, and Heaven's current prime minister made just as much of a effort to make his life more difficult as Metatron had done back in his day. Or at least Lucifer thought he did at times. He wouldn't even speak to him himself, but left that to the archangels whose power was severely limited after being awkwardly put in the third and least influential chamber of Heaven's tricameral parliament for being God's sons. As if it wasn't awkward enough to call his family members at all, let alone with a request. All they did was parrot whatever the idiots that were actually ruling in Heaven told them. Those pious pricks made an effort to re-interpret the Haveno treaty on a regular basis, in what seemed like nothing more than an attempt to spite Lucifer. He had yet to understand how the construction of a few windmills, for instance, constituted an 'important political decision that could affect Heaven'. Clearly this was nothing but an attempt to hinder any real progress in Hell, and while Heaven did eventually budge when it came to harmless decisions whose only purpose was to improve the quality of life of the Infernal population, it was still an unnecessarily arduous process that left him tired and irritable whenever he had to go through it.
'Hell is a place of punishment,' Raphael proclaimed monotonously. He sounded bored and like he'd memorised and uttered these words dozens of times, because he had. It was an automated response that he'd repeated countless times whenever Lucifer called him, the exact same words in the exact same tone of voice. At this point Raphael could have recorded himself and played the recording every time and it wouldn't have made a difference. The only reason why Lucifer knew he wasn't doing that already was that his eldest brother was too much of a by-the-book, stick-to-the-rules kind of person to do that. If it was his duty to relay the same information over and over again, he did just that. At least Raphael wasn't lazy, though Lucifer couldn't help but think that he was wasting his time and energy. Many a conversation with him could have ended much sooner and been a lot less exhausting if he didn't insist on repeating himself every single time. 'If the sinners are suffering, then I am sure it's an -'
'An appropriate punishment, I get it. You wanna suck up to the Puritans? Please don't tell me those bird brains are leading again.'
'No one can tell yet. It's another few months until the election.'
Of course not. It was a lie, a farce, and they both knew that. At least Lucifer thought that Raphael had to know. Though a democracy in theory, Heaven was essentially a one-party state. Though they held elections every five years, the Puritan Party - unsurprisingly the party that thought very little of Hell and just couldn't keep Heaven secular - won almost every single time. There'd been only a handful of times where another party had surpassed them. Sometimes, though rarely, they'd been blissful, as Heaven had been led by more reasonable people who were interested in some actual communication and cooperation. Other leaders had been downright extremist. Some had visibly reveled in the fact that they had the power to put an end to the famine and civil war some parts of Hell were subjected to, and made it very clear that they had no intention of either helping or letting Lucifer do anything that could help, and he'd been forced to give in and wait it out as he wouldn't have put it past those people to start another war over it, and then all of Hell would have been doomed.

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Sehr viel Mühe. Sehr, sehr viel Mühe.